November 20, 2018
Infertility can feel like an abiding thread that has you hanging helpless from month to month. And yet, breaking free can feel like an impossible task.
Infertility can fling you down an emotional rabbithole of intense frustration, quiet helplessness and decided impatience. If you’ve experienced it, or are experiencing it, you know. The truth is, infertility isn’t talked about nearly as much as it should be. Rather, it’s discussed in hushed whispers behind closed doors. Strange, considering about 10% of Indian couples are infertile. The lack of conversation and awareness surrounding infertility is enough to isolate couples experiencing it, making coping all that much harder. In this guide, we give you helpful tips on tackling infertility and rising above it stronger and wiser.
Fight infertility as a two-member team. It doesn’t matter who has been diagnosed with the problem. Ultimately, the situation is one that must be tackled by you and your partner together, and there’s no better time than now to show your solidarity.
If you have been formally diagnosed with infertility, learn about the causes of your condition. By empowering yourself with knowledge, you will feel more in control of your situation. Also, this way, you can proactively participate in discussions regarding your treatment plan and stay mentally prepared for procedures.
It’s stressful enough to deal with something as uncontrollable and unpredictable as infertility, let alone having to deal with other triggers for stress. Try to manage workplace and other stress with meditation, relaxation techniques, deep breathing, yoga, or any other methods that foster calmness.
Join a Support Group
It’s important to know that you’re not alone. Opening your heart to a counsellor or to other couples in similar circumstances can serve as emotional therapy for you and your partner. Join an online support group, or visit a counsellor to air your fears and frustrations. When you’re supported by like-minded individuals, you’ll find it easier to soldier through this unwelcome phase.
View Infertility Through an Appropriate Lens
Don’t let infertility rule your thoughts and attitude. As hard as it is to see infertility in the right light, you must learn to view it as a small phase in the grand scheme of life. There may be many other life events that bring joy through this phase, and you ought to celebrate them with gusto while relegating infertility to the bottom of your emotional quotient.
Routinely Reconsider Your Options
While infertility is a short phase for some couples, it is far longer for others. At the outset, it may be challenging gauging how long the waiting process will be on the quest to conception. Be open to discussing your options with your partner every few months, to check where you’re both at and how you’re feeling. Review the treatments you’ve been recommended and talk about what you’re willing to consider next. Research shows that couples are more likely to end fertility treatment not because they are drained of finances, but because they are, of emotional energy.
Consider Your Alternatives
While you’re in treatment, there’s no harm evaluating other options to complete your family. A donor sperm or egg (depending on your requirement), surrogacy or adoption may be worthwhile paths that may have been forgotten or eclipsed by the emotional burden of infertility. Considering these options doesn’t mean you have given up on fertility treatment; it simply means you have the option of taking another path. If you’ve conventionally considered these alternatives as fallbacks and eventually choose to take them, it’s okay to take your time to grieve the options you have decided to forego. By letting go completely of one situation, you can embrace another with more heart and hope than before.
Infertility can be a trying, testing time. If you’re in the throes of it, remember to be open with your partner about how you’re feeling and stick together as a team of two.